Relationships
In my past there have been all kind of relationships, that were important to me. The first my parents, my brothers and sisters, of course. But later even a companion and my own children. I even had friends, people I felt a bond with and people who I trusted. When my companion and children were killed, I felt alone and without any ties with others. Perhaps the perfect moment to be recruited for the Black Caste.
When I had to redo my training in the hochburg mountains I was partnered with a man who became more friend, then I wanted or ever held possible. A brother, one that shared the stress of waiting, the pain of all the severe beatings, the thrill of passing an other task. We both knew that at one given moment one would have to kill the other, but somehow we managed to keep that as far from us both as possible. When the moment arrived I think we both fought with tears in our eyes.
Perhaps I may seem as the cold and merciless killer, that has lost any kind of feelings for an other. If that is so there is much truth in it, after giving my partner the final blow and claiming his life I never have felt so cold, so lifeless or all by myself.
The relationships I have now, aren’t based on this solemn trust, sharing of joy, pain or frustrations. They are based on respect and complete understanding that at any given moment it can turn and it will be his or hers against my own life.
This and only this, makes me wary to get to deep in relationships as they might be a danger to my own life in time. It doesn’t mean I don’t care, wouldn’t fight for those I care for now. But the depth of these relationships is as far as gold can reach it.
Gold and Steel … that is all there is.
Crows Murder 
Leave a comment