10. Episode The Peacock and the Crow
Crow had taken up a room in the Inn and had now taken a seat in the room where food and drinks were served. The slaves that were dressed in precious silks, clearly there to honour the slaver that occupied a building close to it. The girls, beautiful or even exotic, there to lure customers to buy them, weren’t idle but serving the guests that were in the room. He silently observed their well manners, their subtle gestures of their talents that were still veiled as to urge men to search further and eventually find themselves in the unstoppable desire to own them. The slaver must be a talented one to have such in stock, Crow mused to himself while his attention was taken by a girl that demure and graciously knelt beside him. For a moment he had to halt himself as not to send her away, but to give her the order that what he wished to eat and drink.
The slave girl was clearly not in her element with him, he thought when he spied the trembling of her hands that rested upon her knees. Crow should perhaps be used to it and yet it took him by surprise every single time. But she could not know, who or what he was besides the Assassin. He wasn’t a cartoon figure with only a black cloak and the task to kill a life that was paid for. An Assassin was far more than his caste, Crow thought while he gave eventually gave the order to bring him a meal and his milk. In his corner of the room he felt alone, truly alone as if when one would take him from here, none would even think or notice him being gone. The loneliness had helped often in his tasks and yet it could suffocate him in another, when there was no contract to fulfil. Had he by taking up the cloak and helmet, taken the life of only that ? Was he only 2 dimensional ?
He spied a man across the room that was wearing his white with gold colours. The man probably rich and well known seemed to wave his hand to several others. Offered them a seat at his table and slapped the girls asses to make them hurry in bringing the wine he had ordered. A man that clearly enjoyed life and shared it so graciously with others. A man whose life pretty much could depend on how others would perceive him. If one would become envious or would learn to hate him, a couple of Gold Tarns could end that man’s life quickly. How that thought had troubled him when he was still that young Tarnsman in Glorious Ar, that shared his earnings with friends. That had never found himself lonely at a table as he was now. Many years had passed since then and even if he hadn’t taken up the Caste of Assassins, would he still be so full of joy as he was then ? Would he not be the worried father he nearly became to be when his life shifted in that horrid way ?
The girl returned and her eyes never looked up to him, but were on the tray and table where she carefully put all he had ordered. When the girl asked him for more of his wishes he only shook his head and sent her away with a flick of his hand. How these helpless creatures reminded him of his own slavery. The slavery of the Caste that held so many secrets, so many unspoken codes of conduct. A caste that was never about pride or glory, but about gold and the next contract one could gain. It was about skill, in mind and steel. None really made the choice to become an Assassin because one became one. One was recruited or searched for the caste for another purpose, which was never discussed. Some to escape the shame of being exiled by their original caste while others – as he – were escaping the torment of their lives.
Crow ate but all the while his thoughts wandered. He could have been a Peacock if it weren’t for the loss of his beloved companion and the deaths of his children. He could have been that proud Warrior of Ar and have that glory in what he did. Celebrate his honour and serve the purpose to which he was born. But here he was – The Crow – that simply did his dealings in the shadows. That for most was just that cold, heartless man that had given up on all beauty and pleasures of life. A man that was for those that didn’t know him well enough – shallow and one that took gold over life.
From the corner of his eyes he noticed the Innkeeper nervous to his presence. The glances in his direction, the girl that had instantly returned to him, mere signs that he wished to know why he was here. Crows hair prevented anyone to see that he wasn’t wearing the mark of the dagger upon his forehead, perhaps partly to blame. Perhaps most would be unbothered by the distress of others, but yet he wondered if he should finish his plate quickly and depart again. Crows talent in portraying himself as the Assassin that was ruthless, unbothered and harsh, helped him in situations like these. None would even come close to guess his true thoughts, except for one girl that could read Assassins as clear as day. How odd that this girl now seemed to be related to one of his mentors.
Crow took the vessel with milk and gulped it down as if to finish his meal here where thoughts of the past seemed to fly by as if they were hummingbirds in search for their beloved honey. The thought of Raven – the girl of Scar – had taken him back by – The Peacock. The women – the slave – the panthergirl and never had he seen her as to what she truly was. He knew that whatever she was, he hadn’t seen it. Crow might have been many things, but he wasn’t a coward. He would face what challenge all of this would give him, since he was certain there was one. It was the wheel of which he and T. had spoken. The wheel showing a new direction, perhaps a new phase. Perhaps the answer to the puzzle was before him – but he wasn’t yet ready to see it.
—————— Several years previously ————————
Suyuan (suyuan.quan) knew that he wouldn’t flinch or blanch, as assassins were trained to be the ideal and perfection of rigidness and unparalelled steadfastness. Oh, it was simple to imitate herself but each day that progressed, it became harder to resort back to her Pani face; stoicism while feeling a maelstrom inside. Her gaze flickered towards the collar-girl and she nodded towards her but focused back upon her ambition, “We do… but men so often interfere with it as their will must be exercised first before we are permitted to do what we wish.” Her voice was steady, careful, if not meticulous in the manner of which she spoke. But, she was still audacious, “Men’s greed prove to overween us too much and that is why we cannot complete our destinities. However…” She shifted to face him, holding a regal pose as if she were a queen, “I think of men and women like clay and bone. Men shatter like a clay pot and no matter how much you attempt to piece it back together, it will never be the same. Women however are bone. We break, but we can mend like nothing ever happened. When I was a child, my mother told me to think of myself as grass – born to be stepped on by men. But, I think of myself as a peacock among vulos.”
Crow (melchior.wardell) nods and his green eyes light up at the vivid picture her story held to him “It is those women that keep a men from breaking that are cherished and loved to the extent that wars will be fought to have them or own them.” he lifted his chin slightly while his eyes regarded her sharply “Did you ever consider how much spring a woman can bring to a man ?” he asks her but waved the question away “It is your bitterness … if you could lose it … your beauty would extent far more … than any sway of your hip or exposed skin could gain.” he lifted her chin tenderly even … “You can be the most beautiful peacock … if you learn to clean up your feathers and be without the weight of your past.”
Suyuan (suyuan.quan)’s almond-eyes broadened a bit though her expression remained serene, similar to that of a Buddha, Mona-Lisa, or perhaps an ost waiting to strike on its intended victim, “Have you ever heard of a phrase called ‘chi ku – eating bitterness’? It is a belief that adversity brings virtue. Oh Crow, I have swallowed my bitterness and moved on… but I know you are not unlike me… something weighs in your heart too. Something did break you.”
Crow (melchior.wardell) shook his head “I don’t know the expression … and I am aware of the fact that at one point in my life there was something that broke me … and it will never heal … as I have left it there … that piece will never be …” he could express it without the sadness that had owned him for the longest ever since the death of his companion and children “But the difference between you and I … it has not blemished my feathers … it has not tainted my heart by darkness … it has never been replaced since I never looked for replacement … which … you try.” he pulled her by her wrists closer and locked his eyes to hers “You speak of swallowing your bitterness and yet you spoke of what you my caste has taken … ” he released her and pushed her gently back to make his own movement to leave “I am sure we will continue this discussion … but until that time … that eating bitterness … also means to chew it before you swallow.” with that he moved further and left without giving her any time to respond.
———————— Present ——————-
Crow nodded to himself while the last of his own words dawned him. “we will continue the discussion” With that he lifted himself up to pay the Innkeeper and leave the room where the laughter of others tried to persuade him to dive deeper in his own memories of what never could be. He couldn’t replace it – nor mend it – nor disguise it – of that he was certain.
Crows Murder 
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