11. Episode The Peacock and the Crow
Yurei should have died and in a sense she did. She died again and again, like the Phoenix of Earth legend who lives for a thousand years, only to build it’s own funeral pyre and cast itself into the flames. As it dies, it is reborn and it ascends from the ashes to live another thousand years. There were various Pani legends reflecting the Earth story, but what she found most fascinating were the stories and facts that her mother shared with her about crows and ravens. The creatures would sit on hot surfaces as they allowed the heat to overwhelm them. Sometimes when they flapped their wings, they encouraged the flames of whatever fire they perching near to blaze and it would frighten the bird, causing it to take flight. She had watched one instance of this as a child and found it fascinating. She always had an affinity for birds and what they represented to her. Sometimes, she even wished to fly away like the black birds who appeared whenever she seemed to need them the most.
The physician’s slave tended to her and she learned that her name was Alesia. She was lovely, slender, but certainly never lacked any curvature which made her the beautiful slave she was. She possessed keen, intelligent, and thoughtful green eyes that exuded nothing but tenderness and warmth. Her conversations with her revealed that she too was a former breeder but had been rescued by the physician and subsequently she became his love slave. The tell-tale signs of affection between the physician and Alesia was palpable, if not admirable. But, he was rough with her and often scolded her for small mishaps. It was not uncommon for a man to be harsh with his love slave. She happened to listen to the sounds of Alesia being lashed for accidentally spilling broth on Yurei’s sheets and the physician happened to be present. His mild-mannered countenance altered to rage as he reached for the whip he hid under his desk and dragged Alesia by her hair from the room to so that he could punish her in privacy. After the ordeal, Alesia emerged from outside, sniffling and flushed and Yurei could discern the lash marks across her body. The physician returned and beckoned Alesia to a cot where he proceeded to apply salve to her wounds as he spoke tenderly to her.
Yurei could not help but feel simultaneously envious and disturbed at what she witnessed. It reminded her of herself and Shiefo as he was one of the few owners to lash her whenever she made a minute mistake. His image also surfaced in her delirious dreams while she battled her sickness.
She remembered the last time she encountered him and the exchange that she had made. It was the previous summer in Port Cos as a matter of fact and and the season was gradually declining into autumn.
He happened to see her as she had just finished playing her samisen for a group of warriors. Seeing him made her heart plummet into her belly and caused her to drop her instrument, chipping the wood and breaking a string. He had pulled her aside and demanded to know how she had attained freedom.
Her bitterness still enveloped her as she voiced her grievances with him and it was both poignant and emotional. He realized that she was drowning in her own antipathy for just about everything around her and offered to end her existence. She was shocked; the former Ubar of Telnus with whom she shared her happiest days with was willing to take her life from her in order to “ease her suffering”. How she had loved him when she belonged to him and how their feelings flourished like blossoms reaching for Tor-tu-Gor which replenishes all life. Yet, here he was, willing to end her life for her own good. The man she had loved had died in the fall of Salernum… or at least the ideal of him did. They both shared a relationship like Alesia and the physician. The only difference was was that Yurei’s self-identity remained in check so it seemed. She remembered glaring at Shiefo and declaring, “I don’t have enough love for you to allow you to kill me.” With that, she kissed him. What the former Ubar did not know was that the rouge that was painted upon was mixed with tassa powder and her kiss had rendered him unconscious, leaving her enough time to escape and return to her nomadic existence. But, she had to go the extra mile when a rarius discovered them. Her quick thinking had allowed her to inform the rarius that Shiefo had accosted her and was drunk.
Just as he came to, she accused him again and departed the city. That was the last time she ever went to Port Cos.
Her action might be seen as wicked, if not treacherous. She wasn’t surprised really; after all she was a panther and they were known to be thieves, whores, and liars for when the situation warranted it. She was reminded of this whenever she tucked her wayward strands behind her ears, both of which were notched due to an overzealous rarius with whom she attempted to befriend and even understand, but his stubbornness and strict dedication to his codes created friction. She did this act even now as she allowed her callused fingertip to trace over the crude indents in her ears. Not only were they notched, but they were simultaneously pierced. Shiefo made certain that her life would be harder as he inserted needles into them while he positioned her over a tavern table and proceeded to slave rape her afterwards. But, despite what he did, she still loved him albeit quite foolishly.
She propped herself upon the pillows while she contemplated all of this as Alesia attended to her. She had just bathed and Alesia was attempting to comb out her dreadlocks again. Each knot she yanked elicited a gasp from the peacock and each time she apologized profusely for hurting her. Alesia reminded her so much of her former self and despite their differences, found a sort of kinship with her like she did in the slave Ki so many years ago.
“My owner has dispatched a messenger to that man who brought you here Mistress.” Her voice was mellifluous and sweet and it reminded her of raw honey and sugar. “He says that since you are getting better, it is best for the killer to decide what to do next and how to proceed with you.” She became tentative as she stated the next words, “He says you may end up a slave.”
Yurei regarded her for a long time with a neutral countenance as she sympathized with her reluctance. She continued to comb her hair as gently as possible. “I hope you don’t, Mistress.” That was all she could afford to say in regard to her personal feelings. Alesia had seemed to grow fond of the recovering Pani woman and admired her qualities. “Forgive me if I step out of line, but from what I have seen in you, your heart and spirit are not meant for the collar. I don’t think any man can tame you.”
Yurei didn’t respond as she continued to glance forward. Her eyes flickered to the image of the human body which Crow had discerned a Hand or so prior. Her brows rested heavily over her slanted eyes as she seemed to become lost in thought… or feeling.
“Perhaps so. But, things are not always certain now are they?”
Her thoughts continued to meander as Alesia continued her care. Her statements left her confused, but also pensive as she studied the poster with what seemed to be immense concentration as she thought of Crow and their prior conversations.
Her fragile beat faster particularly when she contemplated over their history together; their conversations, their dispositions… how everything between them seemed to weave and connect quite naturally.
Crow confused her just as much as she confused him. But, it didn’t explain the rapid pounding of her heart whenever she seemed to recall even the most unfavorable moments with him.
She studied the imagine and focused upon the chest area where a diagram of the heart seemed to be the primary focus. Everything in the human body was fueled by the heart and the blood it pumped through it. Love, joy, rage, sorrow – all of the complex matters of human nature begins with the heart…
…And it was her heart that began to swell with emotion as she realized that for once, she could feel without having to resort to bitterness. It was a defense mechanism; it was what sustained her. She remembered the expression she shared with Crow… eating bitterness and allowing adversity to transform into virtue.
She was tired of swallowing bitterness. She was tired of herself; of the disguises, masks, and lies. For the first time in what seemed to be ages, she wanted to feel freely and openly without being being afraid of what the consequences would bring.
She wondered what Crow was doing and reclined on her bed as Alesia tucked her back into bed. She couldn’t wait to inform him of her epiphany.
Crows Murder 
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