13. Episode The Peacock and the Crow
[11:50] Melchior Wardell arched a brow when the man he had sent to bring his slave stopped him before he could continue his way to the infirmery. The man, some might consider him a mute, didn’t speak but simply held out his hand to collect the coin he had been promised. Perhaps some would consider it odd that he – a killer – had paid such coin for a mere beast. But for some reason Crow rather wished to be served by his own slave. Careful or suspicious because of the looks the Innkeeper had given him. “Tal mine.” he stated while he waited for her to greet him in the way he had taught her.
[11:53] Vivianna didn’t care that it was snowy, she knew her lips belonged on the leather of his boot. He’d hear the crunch of snow as she dropped to her knees and pressed her lips. “Tal my Master.” She says, rubbing her cheek along the cold leather of his boot. “I’ve seen to all the little details back home.” She told him this so he’d know his tent was in fine order, and waiting on his return. She’d stay on her knees in the cold, until he told her she could rise, even though she felt the snow creeping through. “And yer looking so handsome today, my Master!” She couldn’t resist adding just before she pressed another kiss to his leg.
[11:56] Melchior Wardell looked down while she showed him how she belonged to him and then simply snapped his fingers with the signal for her to rise. She – although a slave – was of value and he didn’t want to bother himself with more trips to an infirmary. “Heel.” he simply stated to her giving her a glance as to silence her. He turned to the man had paid the coin that was promised. “You came quickly – seems I should speak with that captain you have as a comrade.” he said towards the man. The man shrugged and headed off perhaps to afraid to be seen with a killer in these parts.
[11:57] Vivianna laid one last kiss on her owners boot before she hopped up at his snap. She fell in silently behind him, ready to follow his every step. Her normal way was to babble along and entertain him with her stories… But his look silenced her, and so she stood, ready to heel.
[12:01] Melchior Wardell pushed the – familair – door open and instantly his keen eyes scan the room to see what was happening inside. As ever he was cautious to enter any building and up in these parts he was always more weary. There wasn’t much respect to his caste, although he doubted there was truly that in any part of Gor. He was one of the most hated castes and although he perhaps carried it proudly he wasn’t one that would flaunt it.
[12:04] Vivianna stepped in quietly behind her owner. Already the warmth of being indoors and out of the snow was making her feel better. She stayed silent, never one to greet unless her Master said she might. She leaned over though, and peered over Crow’s shoulder to study the woman….
[12:09] Yurei was beginning to rouse from the fitful slumber that the sedative afforded her. She had discovered for what might be the first time in ages an opportunity for respite. As Crow and his slave entered, she rested on her side and his arrival stirred her awake. Her vision was blurry at first as she attempted to discern who had entered, but the musky scent of old blood and sweet lingered in her nostrils and she shifted onto the edge of the cot while her hands rubbed at her eyes as she attempted to battle her drowsiness. “Crow is that you?”
[12:13] Melchior Wardell spied no physician inside but noted The Peacock before she even spoke. He pointed to his slave as to signal her that she was needed “Mine see to some tea of some sorts.” he demanded as if there was a good reason for it – while in fact it was merely to pose himself once again as the harsh killer he wished to be. “Seems the physican isn’t here.” he gave as a reason. He turns to The Peacock “Yes it is me.” he replied while he stepped closer “I see you are awake.” he turns to see if his slave would do his bidding “You know why I was summoned ?” he asks her while he took time to study her and to see that her recovery had been far more than he had
[12:14] Vivianna gave only a quickly spoken “Yes, my Master.” as she hurried off and began the process of putting the tea together. They’d hear little clangs and water as she organised the boiling put, set out the leaves… She was sneaking glances at the woman in the bed as she worked….
[12:24] Yurei continued rubbing her eyes as she listened to the clanging of pots and various other items inundate her ears as Vivianna proceeded to make tea for either her or the both of them. Her gorgginess abated to a manageable where she was able to comprehend better and the first thing she did was peer around the looming figure of the assassin to regard the brunette. She felt something in her chest but couldn’t explain the feeling; however it was sharp and unpleasant and she attempted her best to conceal it, “The physicians wants to know what you want to do with me.” She stated tonelessly as her eyes returned to his; but unlike their prior meetings, there was the absence of bitterness and rage. There was something more heartfelt, warm as her eyes revealed the new series of sensations and feelings that she usually suppressed or quelled. “Whatever you decide… I’ll try… to comply.”
[12:28] Melchior Wardell arched his brow in surprise, no mask, simply surprised by the words she spoke and the expression she held on her features. He reached out to her cheek with his hand to brush it – perhaps to attempt to turn it slightly to see if the wounds he had seen there previously were healed or a tender caress to show that he was pleased with the recovery. “I see.” he stated as if it held already an answer. “And you will try to comply ?” he asks. He had followed her gaze but as a man could only guess to her reasons for looking at his slave in the way she had done. It held no meaning to him for now. He was tempted to ask further about the physician but held still as he wished to hear the answer to the question he had posed.
[12:31] Vivianna strained two cups of tea… She was asked to make tea, so she assumed it was for both of them. As it was cold outside, she was making the tea a little strong, and she asked “Will my Master or the Mistress take milk or suger in the tea?” It made more sens to get it all done at the little kitchen, versus some flowery city arrangement where one carts trays all over the place…
[12:42] Yurei leaned her head gently against his callused palm like she did prior in the longhall during the summer. She turned her face towards his palm and planted a light kiss. It was not one that a kajira or bondmaid would utilize to seduce a man. It was not even something that a high caste woman would use to manipulate a man into getting what she wanted. The illness had seemed to changed her as well as the parade of dreams which offered her different perspectives about her past. Her lashes fluttered over her cheekbones as her tears threatened to descend and indeed they did… she was being honest with the proverbial black bird for the first time, “Yes, I will.” She stated feebly with a voice that was filled with genuine emotion bordering a sob and suddenly her eyes opened to allow her amber hues to encounter his own green eyes, “I think I finally understand what the diviner was talking about all those years ago.” She reached up to grasp his hand and gave it a reflexive, affectionate squeeze, “I think this is mean
[12:42] Yurei: t to be, whatever this is.” She glimpsed over towards Vivianna and smiled as she wiped at her face with the back of her opposite hand, “Milk and sugar, girl.”
[12:47] Melchior Wardell had simply shook his head at the milk or sugar and held his attention to The Peacock. He canted his head a little as if to give himself a different perspective upon the face of her. For a reason he was bothered with the fact there were no sharp words, no snipe remarks but a gentle kiss and the affectionate gestures and squeeze. “What do you understand, Peacock ?” he asks her while his eyes grew sharper to look into hers. Perhaps in this idle attempt to see atleast some of the bitterness that always had fitted her. With the words she spoke he had instantly a thousand other questions, since what was said made so little sense to him. Yet he hadn’t forgotten the feeling when he had first followed that unknown voice that had beackoned him to eventually find her – nearly dead. Crow was known for his organized thinking. A man that could pull open drawers to find what he had stored there at will and close them if they weren’t needed. Now he simply heard voices that weren’t his own. Voices of his mentors ? (c)
[12:48] Melchior Wardell couldn’t help that in his eyes a glimpse of his confussion would be. What would he do now ? What answers ? What challange ?
[12:50] Vivianna nodded and said “Yes, Mistress.” and added the milk and suger to the tea. She caught Crow’s head shake, so left his tea as it was. She picked his up first and carried it over to him. She said quietly by his side, so as to not disturb “Your tea, my Master.” She’d take the Mistress her tea in a moment, but for just now, her eyes were locked on her owner. She could not help the little smile that tugged at her lips when she looked at him, as he -always- made her heart race.
[13:03] Yurei hadn’t released his hand but could most definitely feel the confusion that seemed to water down the blood pumping through his veins. Whatever treacherous expression or countenance that seemed to sustain her had dwindled down to this moment, “You yuan wu fen… fate without destiny. That has been the entirety of my life so it seems. I have come to comprehend that I cannot control what is out of my hands and that was why I was eating bitterness for so many years. I’m not perfect and there will be moments where the bitterness will resume.” She shifted her gaze briefly to Vivianna and contemplated her, curious about her thoughts on such profound matters before focusing back on Crow, “Neither can you… you are destined to be what you are, but are not fated to be of stone… like me.” She seemed to continue with the mystical saying and in a manner they made sense. “In my dreams… I saw what you were. I don’t know how, but the gods have shown me why we are what we are. The diviner from my childhood revealed a
[13:03] Yurei: man who assumed the symbol of the crow, who’s path was similar to mine.” She gazed pointedly at Crow at again though her expression was unreadable, “You and I are the same Crow. This is why I cannot be bitter around you or towards you anymore.”
[13:10] Melchior Wardell took the cup from his girl and gave her a signal to continue her serve with the lady. He listens to the Peacock and although her words might have seem odd to others, they weren’t to him. Hadn’t he himself had similar thoughts as to how much they were alike. “We spoke once about men and women. We spoke in ways they were different. You spoke of women of bone and men of clay – and yet here you are telling me we are alike ?” he now watched her intently and held that pause in silence – as if he wished to hear what the voices in his own head were telling, but none seemed to speak in words he could understand. “If there is such thing as destiny what would it say now – Peacock. You and I know that in the world we live – beauty is with a price.” he started to pace “You know that if the Physician would ask me what to do with you – I wouldn’t quite know what to answer him. What are you truly – A freewoman that must hide this revelation ? – A slave I would sell to a slaver that could really exploit the beauty (c)
[13:15] Vivianna inched back over to the counter and picked up the second cup of tea. She carried it over to the woman and knelt down properly to hand her her tea. She wasn’t one for kneeling as she was of northern stock, but she was always careful to please her owner, and she would cause no offense by not kneeling as the woman might expect. Holding the cup up to her she says simply “Tea, Mistress. Milk and sugar.” She tried to think of what else she could say, as the ladies seemed to like it flowery… Vivi was a man’s slut through and through, so she struggled a bit when it came to ‘pretty’. “And yer hair looks lovely. And… tea makes you warm.” Vivi nodded as if that might just cover it…..
[13:25] Yurei was about to reply to Crow when Vivianna interrupted her train of though. Normally, she would be irritated but she welcome the break in thought and speech as she collected the cup from her, “Thank you, girl.” Her voice was sweet, melodic, though still a bit hoarse due to her recovery. She lifted the rim to her mouth and took a few sips before extending it from her to contemplate the cup as was the Pani way, “Your girl is lovely. My compliments.” The beverage warmed her hands and she exhaled, allowing her shoulders to deflate as she became more comfortable before resuming her exchange with Crow, “I was wrong, Crow. And it’s rare when I admit that.” She had finally released his hand to cup the tea as she allowed the liquid to warm her insides after sipping it again, “Nothing is absolute, absolutely nothing. Our genders vascillate between clay and bone status.” She glimpsed up at him thoughtfully, “And I believe you and I are made of both bone and clay… there are some pieces of us that can never mend but
[13:25] Yurei: our perseverence… our strength and tenacity to survive resides within our bones.” She glimpsed down at the cup again as her partially combed out hair which the slave Alesia had tended to was beginning to look somewhat more manageable. “I have a solution and this only occurs in Pani culture. But, with out mutual rejection of one another, I don’t think that a breech in tradition would matter much.” Her eyes moistened as she encountered his eyes again, “Make me a contract woman… your contract woman. It’s the path of both slave and free woman combined.”
[13:32] Melchior Wardell looked at Vivianna when the compliment was made. Perhaps he as any Gorean man should feel pride in owning her and he did – the collar wasn’t a thing he gave easy surely not his. “She is entertaining.” he simply said in reply, which was perhaps the understatement of the year. He grins when the admitance came of her wrong “I wonder about the bone and clay – Peacock. I see us as birds each have their own unique way of going through life. Perhaps you and I have learned to fly with the breeze of winter, were others would strike down to rest upon branches.” he spoke with a voice that was dark – aged – but no longer harsh or demanding. Perhaps like a poet that phylosofic spoke about his vision on life. “I have never underestimated your strength or abbility to survive. I have seen you broken, shattered, bitter and nearly on the edge of death.” he looked down on Vivianna and even managed to smile. “A life as a woman that is in any way connected to mine – isn’t easy. I would even say hard.” he said earnest. (c)
[13:36] Melchior Wardell took a moment pause to gather his own thought “I was once indeed broken. I vowed myself then a promise that untill today I never broke. A promise that is far more valuable than any gold or even my life.” he then turned to face her once again. In his eyes there was perhaps that sadness of the bittersweet memory of the very moment he had vowed never to love again. Not for the codes or regulations of his caste, but simply because he couldn’t be so selfish again. “How tempted your sollution might seem – I have to decline it for reasons I cannot speak.” he said – truthfully when it came to his own thoughts. “However Peacock – I will not let you fly in the winterstorm. You will find yourself protected by old and dark feathers – as long as life permits.”
[13:36] Vivianna tilted her face up to the woman’s with the praise, and turned to look at her owner. She’d want to see if he was pleased as she moved back to his side. She’d stand silently behind him, waiting to serve if need be.
[13:48] Yurei continued sipping her tea in silence while she listened to him and her hands began to tremble at the final statement. His rejection was something that was she wasn’t expecting but she did not blame him… she understood the difficulties of his caste and what hardships it entailed. “You saved my life though. I have crossed the threshold of dreams and now I am beginning… to feel things again.” She set the cup aside on the adjacent desk as she approached him, though she did savor Vivianna’s offering, she felt her heart was like a ticking time bomb in her chest, “I don’t blame you anymore. Crow… I think… I care for you.” She deliberately met his eyes which seemed to fill with emotion. There was palpable difficulty in her speech, stammering as she revealed the context of her feelings, “But you know me… I will survive any love which weighs me down. I will even destroy it if I must to live. Not unlike you.” She leaned on tip-toes and draped her arms about his shoulders as she kissed him… tenderly, pas
[13:48] Yurei: sionately, and with profound reverence for the being who’s path intertwined with hers. She did this for a while, uncaring of his reaction. She had wanted to do this without the bitterness and it seemed to vivify her. She broke it after several ehn and pivoted to the side, “Thank you… know that I will protect you however I can as well.”
[13:57] Melchior Wardell was perhaps for a rare moment – not the dark man with the many masks that would imprison his feelings and answered her kisses with a similar tenderness. Perhaps in a way he once had kissed his companion or another before he had been broken to be build as the man he was now. He again had taken every word to mind and than his hands took her hands from his shoulders to push her gently from him. Perhaps the tenderness wasn’t as much of a lover, but a protector – a brother in arms – a comrade. He watched her intently and when he was certain his voice would not hold his old sadness he said “To care for anyone is precious and somethng one should treasure. We never know when we might not be able to care again. It isn’t something to be killed, but celibrated. There is always a space in our being that allows us to be a child that sings, a lover that shares the pleasures.” He nodded “If your destiny is alike to mine – I know you will be the indestructable one, who suffered everything and nothing.” (c)
[14:00] Melchior Wardell gave a small gesture to the room “I might have saved you. But not as much by keeping you alive because of your injuries, but by the acceptance that life has things in it that might harm us – not with the intent of it. ” he tipped her nose, playful – a sort of compliment as he never did it with those he didn’t like “However promise me that you will never safe me – for the moment I would be in your debt – I would no longer be what I am or wish to be.” the last was spoken again in earnest. He was afterall a Gorean man – An Assassin who would fail his caste if it indeed ever came to such.
[14:02] Vivianna was well trained, and she’d been serving the killers for years. She was trained to be lethal, loving, loyal… She could poison with a smile, and report things in the minutest detail to her owner. And even with all of that, she could not keep the look of shock from her face as the woman touched her Master. Her eyes widened and she even took a step back, just in case. When her Master spoke softly to the woman, the shock she wore turned to even wider eyed and opened mouthed amazement. She tried to school her features back in to the calm little observer she always was…. She even offered a smile to the woman.
[14:09] Yurei released him as her arms dropped to her sides and she became crestfallen. She realized now he didn’t see her the way that she saw him, even though all the signs seemed to declare otherwise. The lump assembled in her throat as it descended into her stomach, descending into a spiderweb of knots which elicited tears. But, they were tears of relief as it seemed, though they hinted at sadness and joy. She was happy to have made her peace with Crow, but was unsettled. However, the flick of her nose produced a feeble smile as she gazed into his eyes again, “You know I can’t promise you that, my black bird.” She stated affectionately, if not lovingly, “But, I release you from any and all debt from me. I simply want you to find your contentment in this world and perhaps…” She dauntlessly raised her callused hand to allow it level over the area where his heart was and press against it. She could the steady beat of his heart, even through his clothes which made many fear him. She had ceased fearing his caste long
[14:09] Yurei: ago but maintained a respect as she viewed herself not unlike them. “I know your codes, your caste… but promise me you will try to be happy… for this peacock who has now become a butterfly.”
[14:17] Melchior Wardell composed again to the man with the many masks and caught her hand from his heart. “Seems we both can’t truly promise.”he replied. Perhaps a sad statement when one would think of it. He knew that at the present he held no debt with anyone. It stronged him often to know that he had even compensated those that had given him much. He had rescued his mentor Sol, tended to his fathers last words – when he thought to leave life. He was a man that had faced many obsticles in life and had suffered them and yet none had harmed him in his core, which he even now protected with all his might. He could explain that it weren’t for his codes of his caste, but the solemn vow he had made, yet he didn’t. Why would he burden another with what he carried for this long. “Very well.” he said to the last of her words. He took a small pouch from his belt and gave it to his girl “Put it on the desk.” he turned back “That will cover all costs and with what remains I hope this butterfly will find that new start.” (c)
[14:19] Melchior Wardell continued “But please take to heart that this isn’t simple coin a good man made. I am very much – the black bird – that murders.” he stated. “A butterfly can be when with others even move air – while when there are more of me – they will speak again of murder. Do not forget that behind each goes that secret world even in that of the most colourful butterfly.” he then turned perhaps to rip himself from the woman that had haunted his toughts for this long. “Heel mine.” he merely gave his girl in order so she would.
[14:21] Vivianna curled her fingers around the pouch and muttered softly “Yes, my Master.” before she turned to carry it to the desk. She laid it carefuly in the center and headed back to his side. The pouch felt heavy to her hand, and she took another curious glance at the woman, wanting to know about the lady who would be worth such a pouch of coins. She spoke to his command quickly “Yes, my Master.” and prepared to follow him back out in to the cold. She looked over her shoulder, one last look at the woman before she turned to follow Crow out. She’d never even greeted the lady…
——
One would have to wonder why Crow didn’t take Yurei… Suyuan for his own… but he had his reasoning and again they seemed to go their seperate ways for the time being.
There continued to be rumors of a scarred, Tuchuk looking woman roaming the Northern Forests who seemed to train the very black birds that continued to visit her quite frequently. Despite her initial dissapointment, she had changed… life had returned to her being and the bitterness which seemed to be forte had subsided a bit.
One day she disappeared… only to re-emerge attired in traditional Pani robes and labeling herself an entertainer. She called herself Tokoyo… named after the girl who won back her swordsmen father’s honor.
—– Tokoyo’s Story ——
She was the daughter of a swordsmen named Oribe Shima. Shima had displeased the emperor, who was in an ill state of health, and subsequently banished him from the kingdom. As a result, he had to set up home on a group of islands called the Oki Islands, away from his daughter. Both he and Tokoyo were miserable at being separated, and she became determined to find him. She sold all her property, and set out for a place called Akasaki, which was just off the coast from the Oki Islands. Although she asked the fishermen to ferry her there, they all refused, since it was forbidden to visit anyone banished there.
One night, she took a boat and sailed to the islands herself. She spent the night on the beach. The next morning while searching for her father she encountered a fisherman, whom she asked about her father. The fisherman replied he knew nothing, and warned her not to ask anyone else about his whereabouts. As a result, she was forced to eavesdrop on people’s conversations, rather than simply asking them directly. Unfortunately, Tokoyo could not gather any useful information this way.
On one evening, she came upon a shrine of Amaterasu, and after praying to her, collapsed and fell asleep. She was awoken by the sound of a girl crying, and looked up to see a young girl and a priest. The priest led the girl to the edge of a cliff and would have pushed her off the edge, if it wasn’t for the intervening of Tokoyo. The priest said he was going to sacrifice the girl in order to appease the god Okuninushi, who demanded the annual sacrifice of a young girl. Tokoyo offered to take the girl’s place, begrieved and hopeless from not finding her father. After praying to Amaterasu again, she dived down into the ocean; dagger in her teeth.
At the bottom of the ocean, Tokoyo found a mighty cave, which housed a statue. The statue was of the emperor who banished her father, and she immediately decided to destroy it. However, thinking better of it, she tied it to herself and began to swim back with it. Before she could leave the cave, a serpentine creature (not Okuninushi, but some unnamed monstrosity) confronted her. Devoid of fear, Tokoyo first stabbed it in the eye, blinding it, then relentlessly attacked until she succeeded in killing it. When she arrived at the shore, the priest and girl carried her to town. Word of her heroic deed spread. The emperor’s unknown ailment had also suddenly been lifted. He realized that Tokoyo must have released him from a curse, because of what she did to the statue. He ordered the release of Oribe Shime. The father and daughter happily returned to their home town.
—————–
Few if any believed her, but found the story fascinating. Suyuan, now having labeled herself after the legendary figure became more content with each opportunity she told the story. She would have to remember to tell it to Crow next time she saw him.
He had restored her honor and in return she had given a most precious gift… the feelings of her heart. Gratitude was not enough for Amaterasu binding them together.
Perhaps in this lifetime, they couldn’t afford the luxuries they wanted but at least they knew they would always have one another… either in signs or dreams.
Tokoyo was triumphant and Suyuan finally seemed to have found the peace that eluded her for so long. But, as Crow stated, there would always be darkness. She was ready to battle it whenever it attacked her.
For now, she would attempt to find a place where she could find some measure of peace with the money Crow gave to her… Torvaldsland seemed ideal. Perhaps, she could settle down on that farm she dreamed about, companion, and have children. It was a life she wanted. It was a life she deserved. It was a life she should have had.
Now, she had her chance. The possibilities were endless. She now had the tools to quell the demolished dreams of both her childhood and adulthood and commence the long, arduous healing process. She would endure it as best she could without ever losing herself again.
“Mother, you would have liked him…” She said to the air, hoping that wherever Mizumi was, she could hear her.
She could sense the wind of change as she returned to the cliff where she had originally intended to end her life. This time she was glimpsing at the horizon with a profound hope that she hadn’t felt in years.
The world of men was cumbersome but with men like Crow, it made it bearable. She would try to be happy and live contentedly not just for him, but also herself.
She had herself but she felt connected to everything and everyone for the first time.
As Tor-tu-Gor ascended over Thassa, she smoothed her hair over her notched ears while studying the glittering waves.
She pivoted and abandoned the cliff, never intending to return to it as she would see what this chaotic world had to offer her. She would stumble and fall several times, but the renewed strength which blazed inside of her was beyond any slave fire she had ever experienced or felt. She would continue to survive however she could, but also remember to live. She liked the idea of settling down in the North. But, despite her desires, she knew never to expect… only hope. Tears blinded her vision as she created more distance between her and her old life and a single thought occurred to her as she took the path to join her hired guard who stood watching. They would be leaving Dyval indefinitely and go wherever fate lead them. Perhaps one day she would discover her destiny, but for now she had fate and she was grateful for that. As she shed the skin of her former life, a single thought occurred to her:
“Knowing love, I will allow all things to come and go. To be as supple as the wind, and take everything that comes with great courage. Life is right in any case. My heart is as open as the sky.” – Maya, Kama Sutra: A Tale of Love
—————————————-
But these were all fantasies and fever dreams.
She was still in Dyval, attired in her rep-cloth gown as she watched Crow begin to depart. She felt something within her ache and the poignant words of Alesia resonated within her head. What about personal desire? Instinct told her to be silent and she regarded the coin bag he had left for her. Whatever pride she possessed became obsolete in the moment he turned his back upon her and she bellowed out to him, “Crow… wait a moment.”
Crows Murder 
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