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Schuldig (part 4)

Posted in Black Caste, Mastery with tags Eve, sephi on March 11, 2010 by crow1971

[6:49] Crow steps inside his face serious while he watches her sit on the table. She was clearly in deep thoughts and he stepped silently behind her placing his strong hand on her shoulder. Perhaps he scared her more than necsecarry but he was used in being silent and unaware of what his mere presence could do to another. “Tal Eve.” he greets “It is time.” he barely whispers before leaning down and kissing the top of her head.

[6:53] Eveline Ashbourne looks up feeling his hand on her shoulder and looks up at him..she had been in deep thoughts and didnt even hear him come in…feeling his lips on her forehead she smiles softly and nods…whispering…”i am ready…”…

[6:54] Crow lifts her face to his “Are you sure … there is no return after this … unless … ” he sighs tired of perhaps all of this … and yet determined for a happy end “When we step of this dock together … I will be a rougue … an outlaw … no longer the killer I once was.” he tells her.

[6:56] Eveline Ashbourne stares into his eyes, htere was no doubt in her voice and nods again…”i am sure… no doubt in my mind and heart… not at all… I would follow you everywhere..”..what she said was the truth… she would follow him everywhere..

[6:58] Crow pulled her closer in a firm embrace, kissing her lips viciously as if to mark her words to his. Softly murmering “What ever happends with me … I am sure you can always return here … but be aware … no longer can I keep you safe.” he snakes his hand to the small of her back.

[6:58] Eveline Ashbourne slowely stands up….she packed not much, jut the neccassary things… it would look like she was traveling to buy grain and other supplies.. no one wold know that she was really gone…for now at least

[7:00] Eveline Ashbourne feels his lips on hers and kisses him back… a soft moan excapes her lips and she whispers…”I will never leave you, no matter what..”

[7:00] Crow slowly releases her from his grip “You will have to let me go for a little … there is one thing I need to do before we depart.” he looks around “Where is sephi ?”

[7:01] Lilani Mayflower: half-tripping over the edge of the stone the girl peers in at the window, her nose low, her eyes big.

[7:02] Eveline Ashbourne looks up….”she should be around somewhere…she has been helping me a lot….she is never far away”she might be outside..

[7:02] Crow grins “Speak of the devil.” he calls out “Sephi … come !”

[7:02] Lilani Mayflower: grimaces and had hoped to have been less obvious

[7:03] Lilani Mayflower: “Tal my Master!” she smiles a wide greeting at him and seeing the now all too familiar sight of that Baker, calls out a polite “Tal Mistress”

[7:04] Eveline Ashbourne smiles seeing sephi enter the small cottage that was her home for such a long time…”Tal sephi…” she gives the girl a small smile

[7:05] Crow looks down on his lure girl, the slave he bought after finishing his training so many years ago. Perhaps the only one that was able to tell so many stories about the challanges he had faced “Tal mine.” he responded somehow there was something in his voice that held a darkness that was even far beyond anything he had ever faced. He slowly moved the sash he had earned from his arms and folded them neatly before offering them to Sephi “I will have a last task for you mine … but remember it will be one on which my life and proberly yours will depend on.” he crouches down to her eyelevel.

[7:06] Lilani Mayflower: ‘s focusses on her Master’s toes and holds herself still. She swallows hard and takes the sash from him, her fingers not really knowing what to do with it. She listens attentively, making sure not to make a single mistake in her understanding “I will not fail you my Master” she says, although her voice cracks

[7:08] Eveline Ashbourne stayes quietly behind Crow…she was scanning ehr cottage to see if there was something that she maybe forgot… she looks at Crow and sephi and takes a deep breath…knowing this is not an easy moment for either one of them..

[7:08] Crow nods slowly while he regards her, his strong hand reaching for her fragile face, one that was created for the tasks he had set to her so often. The time she had been a key figure in the search for Sol, never forgotten. Her torment even so long ago still showed at times when he looked at her “Mine … take this to the killer Vendetta when he is in this village again.” he brushed his thumb over her delicate lips he so often had forced himself on too. “Tell him exactly … what I am telling you now …”his eyes glowed darkly while he studied her features.

[7:09] Lilani Mayflower: ‘s eyes brim with tears and she nods, saying nothing, not wishing him to think that she could not do what he asked of her.

[7:13] Crow regarded her even if his heart was heavy for what he was facing he tried to give her one of his rare smiles “Tell the killer Vendetta … that you are a final gift to the compound I have served for all this time.” he turns to Eve perhaps wondering if it would be enough but turning back to his girl “Tell him … that Tyros is without a Master Assassin and that the man has left alive.” he knew for sure Vendetta would know that Crow would escape the caste but still would give them knowledge as he wasn’t a total coward. The fact he himself had killed so many killers that had breeched the codes was a heavy brick in his stumach … but his love for eve wasn’t one he would compromise for what now had seemed to be senseless. He took from a pocket on his belt one golden coin. “This …” he tells her ” is yours … if you ever need your freedom … it will buy yours.” he gave her a choice one he never would have given before if his heart hadn’t been soften towards Eve.

[7:16] Lilani Mayflower: ‘s fingers shake as she repeats the message, doing so automatically as she had been taught to. When she had finished she looked at his and there was no doubt that she meant what she said, he would have known straight away if she had not “My Master, I am glad you have found that which has eluded you for so long” she says and her fingers squeezed the sash as she looked at the Mistress and tried a smile

[7:16] Eveline Ashbourne steps closer to Crow and sephi….she places a hand on his shoulder….says nothing but hopes he knows she is here for him…and will be here for him always..

[7:19] Crow grins while placing his own hand on that of Eve while facing his own girl, “You have served me more than I could have ever wished for … and your beauty is unknown and for many something that they will fight wars over … You are precious and yet I know that the life I am facing is one I can’t take you into … it would ruin what you are … a slave.”

[7:20] Lilani Mayflower: “I understand my Master” she said and leans forward a hand on his cheek “I wish you well my Master and your Lady” she holds his gaze for a moment and then looks away, the gold coin tight in her palm

[7:21] Crow chuckles turning briefly to Eve “This one … can lure a man to unknown places, take away his guard quicker than a ray of light when the sun rises.” he turns back and instantly his lips press to hers … hard demanding … perhaps even cruel and harsh. This would be his last claim of her. He broke the kiss as quickly as it was given and lifted himself up “Go Sephi … and be well, Kajira.”

[7:23] Lilani Mayflower: raises her fingers to her mouth and checks her tears, offering him instead a brilliant smile. Tears would be for later. “Be well my Master, be well Mistress” she manages and as she turns for the door, she wedges the coin into a gap in the floorboards and is gone

[7:24] Eveline Ashbourne holds her breath and stays quiet…. she knew this was a moment between Crow and sephi…she would enver interfere….she stares at the bags of flower that contain the things she will talke with her… looks up at sephi and whisers…”be well sephi.”

[7:26] Crow watches her leave … and turns to Eve, instantly composing himself for they were not yet in their final destination. The cloak a sign of his former caste now a cover, a mere disguise. “Let us head to Laura … before we go further to our final destination.” he wouldn’t yet tell her what place he would take her … somethings were yet better not shared.

[7:27] Eveline Ashbourne grabbed her bags and walked after him…she closed the door and only took her two bags with things she really needed…

[7:28] Crow nods to the old captain, the many coins he had paid the man had been a great investment in his new ship “Laura … old man.” he tells him when sure none of the others were listening in. He helped Eve board and stepped onto the ship and pulled the boardwalk up so they could depart.

Fear

Posted in Black Caste, Mastery with tags death, emotions, life, sephi on November 8, 2009 by crow1971

Emotions are things we learn to control, to place somewhere deep where they won’t show or play a part in how we conduct ourselves. I am sure many people wonder if Killers still feel since there is hardly anything showing. How little do they know of the constant battle that many killers fight when they truly wish to stay within their codes and wish to remain safe. Each sign of care could be used against one, any sign of fear could be exploited.

Being a killer and having endured pain, torture, loss but also love, joy and commitment will need to learn to stay cold to the outside world. If I let myself be guided by a single ihn of fear I might lose my life. A plain fact which is one that is a constant point of attention when lads follow the training to become of the caste. A moment of anger, disappointment, impatience and your instantly punished severely.

Years have gone by and with each year it seemed to come more easy. Perhaps with each year the age helped me to become more distant to those feelings that so many Gorean men celebrate daily.

My emotions are deep ebbed within me, the fear of facing an enemy as the Kurri. The fear of losing my girl Sephi because some fellow wished to steal her. Those emotions are hidden, covered up by harshness and demands. They might play a role when I am alone with my thoughts but during any interaction in public they are lifeless almost non-existent.

Writing down this I realize that I even though old, and perhaps faced with numbers of difficult quests I still wish to better myself, learn more, so I will be able to keep on the side that wins. The side that kept his wits and coolness and defeats his demons, his battles based on skills.

I might be the cold heartless killer in your eyes, but in my dreams I am still living with the same emotions as any other has. The only difference is the iron control and the realization that those same emotions can make the difference between life and death.

Slave values

Posted in Mastery with tags communicate, learn, sephi, slave on October 17, 2009 by crow1971

The value of a slave isn’t that hard to measure. She is allowed to be at your feet or she is to be sold or killed. There is not much in between. Perhaps a slaver might have shades of grey when it comes to slaves, but for me there isn’t. I don’t want to busy myself with fighting a girl’s slavery. She can accept her place and do what she is told and be kept, or she can fight her place and be sold or killed.

I am certain this might seem harsh, perhaps even cruel but she is merely a slave, nothing more and nothing less. She is to be replaced at the first thought I might have on it. However the fact a slave can be at my feet, means she is valued and considered worthy. Perhaps for some that might be a reason to think she is still nothing, but nothing is more wrong.

As an assassin I am very careful who I allow to be this close, only those I consider to be on my good side I allow. The girl I own is unique and considered precious, since she is allowed to sit and observe almost anything I encounter. The only place she will never see is the place I take when I am on my hunt for a Mark. Not that she might not be able to contribute in a way, but simply because I value my slave too much to endanger her during the most dangerous moment of my life and caste.

My girl Sephi was purchased as a lure girl, she had been trained well in the compound by the first girl. Her beauty, seductive and intelligence make me perhaps a very fortunate owner, since I hardly have to discipline her for doing things I wouldn’t approve off. She has been my girl for some time and every time she amazes me with her personality.

She is valued, untill she bores or displeases me. Although I doubt she will ever will get to that stage since she seem to understand that she can always seek my guidance for learning what I wish to see in her.

Perhaps Mastery is also about communication, being able to make them feel secure enough to speak without being to frightened, eventhough she has all the reasons to be scared. After all I deside if she lives or dies.